he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
