Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
