i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
