My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
