Jerry, you need to find god
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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