Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
