Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
