You smell like a Billy Joel song
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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