he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
