hotel room ftw
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
