youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
soo... how was my night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize