I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
