I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
