I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
