i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
