Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
