Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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