I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
