I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
