We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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