It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
