I want to make a zoo with you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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