When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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