just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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