Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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