do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
