Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
