i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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