he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize