Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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