i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
