So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
