toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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