Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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