Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
