What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
