It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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