sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
