can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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