Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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