your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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