Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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