Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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