cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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