just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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