I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
