if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
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