I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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