if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
