My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i need some magic done to my vagina
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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