How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We are all done wearing pants today
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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