Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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