You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
