We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
