I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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