i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
