Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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