Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
