Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
