just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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