best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
