I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
