soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she told me i tasted like america
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize